WHY?

Yesterday, for whatever reason someone decided maliciously to post our personal information in the comments area of this blog. I find it very distressful that someone who I do not know and have not done any harm to, would stoop to the level of trying to harm me or my family by disclosing very personal information about us without our permission.

Over the last two years the advice and information shared by the majority of those who have commented has been extremely helpful and priceless. My wife and I have sincerely appreciated all of the constructive advice and tips and it has helped tremendously during our struggles to become financially stable.

For some reason during the first year of this blog we started getting some very insulting and abusive comments, which initially I ignored as "par for the course". Until, yesterday when the comments got completely out of hand and things went too far!

For this reason I have enabled the comment moderation feature. It is my hope that this feature will help me to prevent any future problems and distract those who have found it necessary to attack me and my family via this blog.

Just Out Of Reach

If I was not obsessed before this month with becoming debt free, excluding our mortgage then, over the last several days, I am definitely obsessed now. This saga has been dragging on long enough! Although we still have a lot of debt I can't help think that our dream of being debt free is only just out of reach. I keep telling myself that if I just work a little harder each day it will help us get that much closer to our goal.

The last several days have been the busiest that I can remember in a very long time. Besides my regular everyday responsibilities, at my cousin's urging I've been working around the clock to complete his project. We are currently in the last phase of testing so, baring any major bugs I hope to go live later next week. When I get paid this should help us considerably in reducing our debt load.

At my post-surgery appointment this Monday my initial blood pressure reading was 171/100. My doctor actually considered sending me over to the hospital, but after giving me medication to lower my pressure and waiting awhile it lowered to 119/90. Of more concern to my doctor was that my weight had increased again. Since my last visit it had gone from 251.2lbs. to 263.6lbs. I admitted to him that I had not been exercising or staying on my diet due to all the work I had been doing lately but, I promised him that would get back on track after next week. Shockingly, he rebuked me and told me that if I did not care enough about my health to follow his prescribed program then, he could not help me. I could understand his frustration but, felt he was slightly over reacting. Either way I will be finished with this project soon and back on the program.

When Bad Things Happen To Good People

A very close neighbor and friend of ours told us that he was selling his home yesterday. When we asked why, they very honestly told us that they had not been able to make their mortgage payments for the last three months or pay their property taxes for last year. Additionally, he has not been able to find any work! This came as a tremendous shock to us because, just as me he is from the South and more than willing to do whatever it took to earn an extra dollar. So, I know that he must have tried everything possible. His major line of work is as an independent building contractor and she works for Oakland county as a Administrative Assistant. They are some of the kindest people that we have met since moving here. Unlike most of our other neighbors, when we first moved here they were one of the only people who would actually speak to you when saw them.

We both moved into our neighborhood only a few years ago and they seemed to be doing so well. They aren't the kind of couple that spends lavishly and drive new cars nor do they have the latest Trex decks or Gazebos in their yards. They are a very hardworking couple with two daughters, both in college.

He confided in us that they had tried everything from working two jobs to selling things like their old camper and fishing boat, yet they are still in the hole.

I offered to contact our church to see what assistance they could give him but, he refused telling us that they wanted to wait it out a little longer before seeking help.

The worse thing about it all is that they are asking $50,000. less for their house than what they paid for it just five years ago!

Similar Situation

I was browsing Dave's show archives when I came across this clip. Megan's husband wants a large emergency fund. She wants a smaller one. My wife and I are just the opposite. What is the right amount to have in a fund?

Third Marriage Counseling Session

During this session we continued to cover more about financial stability and what it means to a woman in contrast to what it means to a man in a marriage. He went into further details about how the most important key in resolving the problem is not to eliminate the differences but to understand each other’s viewpoint.

I was surprised to discover that my wife's feelings regarding her approach to spending was based more on security for the family than in vanity.

He warned us that this did not mean that it’s true in every case and that there are some extreme money tendencies that evolve into a money disorder. This can cause major chaos within a family and will obviously send the wrong messages to your children.

We also shared with him the steps that we were currently taking to eliminate our debts. He felt that we were balanced with our current approach. But he warned us that there is a variety of money disorders that can range from excessive shopping that creates huge credit card debt, to excessive frugality. He told us how any extreme money tendencies could not only confuse our children on appropriate use money, but it could also create insecurity in their lives as well.

The major message that he wanted us to get from this session was the need for us both to behave as "Accountability Partners" to one another.

Here is the list of things to do that he gave us to do until our next session in two weeks:

• He repetitively stressed the need for us not to spend anything over an agreed amount (such as $40.) without first contacting one another.
  
  
• Continue to use the Envelop system with our budget.
  
  
• Maintain individual, daily spending records. Review the records together at the end of the week to find areas where we can improve.
  
  
• Agree to plan a vacation after becoming debt free and building our emergency fund to four months living expenses.
  
  
• Commit to see a certified Christian Financial Counselor such as those with Crown Financial or Dave Ramsey.

Although many of the things we covered during this session we both heard before, I felt that it helped us to refocus and stay concentrated on our goals.